Rina, The Inspired Young Mother

Semarang, Indonesia
December 2011

The week following my visit with Rina in Weleri, I had a lot of communications with Rofa, Rina's husband, about how to get Rina to come to Semarang and to stay at my house for a week without the children. The young family wanted to experiment what it's like if Rina goes to work in Singapore as a domestic helper. Just like thousands of Indonesians who make more money overseas being a household assistant or domestic helper, Rina had thought about doing the same thing.

Most of them do so for there's no choice. Many of who reluctantly do so for they have to leave their small children behind in the care of the grandparents (most likely the grandmas). What scares Rina is that once she signed a contract, that means she would not be able to see the children for a year. Since the first few months of the salary will have to be substantially cut or given up to the agencies, they will have to make the effort worthwhile, i.e. bring some money home even if they have to endure the pain for a year.

This one week of trial will not only give her the opportunity to see it to herself to be away from her children, but also she will gain some experience of living in someone's household while getting some money for the family. Rina who has lived in a house with a dirt floor, would need to learn about house cleaning tools that she had never even seen before. I asked her what she cooks for the family and she only mentions 3 things, and she does it over and over. "We eat ramen noodles most of the time, the kids love them," she had said.

A week later I had agreed to hire a mini van to bring Rina and her two young girls, Rofa's older sister, Yama with her 10-yr old girl named Indy to visit me in Semarang. Rofa came along as well. 8 people came in a mini yellow van, a typical public transportation they call "angkot" that they have rented for $45 for the day includes gasoline and the driver's fee. $45 can go far in small towns. That's the monthly earning of a housekeeper who comes to clean a house twice a week in the city of Semarang.

We spent all day, at our cottage and visited our farm in the town of Ungaran. Everyone had a good time harvesting some cassavas, breadfruits, jackfruits, and petai beans. Around 5pm they all went back to Weleri, except for Rina. The mother of 2 young children decided to get a "job training" for a week, learning how to clean and manage a household, cooking, shopping, and lots of reading.

Rina spent her first 2 days with my assistant, Wien who teaches her some housekeeping. In the evening I spent the time talking to her, empowering and reasserting her hope for the future of her children and herself. During the day, we spend time in the kitchen. I teach her to cook my recipes. Sometimes we create a new recipe. After dinner I drop magazines, books, and newspaper in her room, which she devoured like a scholar who is hungry for references. It had been 7 years since she touched books or reading materials. As soon as she finished high school, she married Rofa and her new life began. A life in which reading is not required..... because of the circumstance.

The first night at our house, I asked Rina to make a list of the things that make her happy, and the things that makes her unhappy. At first, she couldn't come up with one thing. The "Happy" paper was blank for several hours. Then I saw that she started filling the lines on the "Unhappy" paper.... a few items on the list. That night I had a conversation with her. A conversation that changed the way she thinks. On the fourth night, she made a long list of things that make her happy, and the only thing she has on the "unhappy" list was "I miss my children".

In the month of May 2012, when I go back to visit her in her village, I intend to give her a new blank piece of paper titled "What I want for my children".